Humans are afraid of being alone. When the loneliness creeps up on you in the middle of the night, takes over your mind, makes you feel like you’re not good enough, you’re not worth of anyone’s time, you do everything in your power to keep yourself distracted. But that’s the thing you see, we are in control of our own thoughts, we control the narrative in our mind and the way we perceive being alone reflects what we think of ourselves.
Why is it that when the noise fades, and it’s just you, completely on your own, you can’t seem to give yourself a break? According to the science magazine, people would rather be electrically shocked than be left alone with their thoughts. We are constantly distracting ourselves from the realities of the world we live in, with our jobs, friends, hobbies, anything and everything except our thoughts.
Societies, individuals and you have stigmatised being alone. If you are alone, you are not happy. If you are alone, you didn’t make it in life. Yes, it does suck to be alone and I'm not going to sugar-coat that, but there is beauty in solitude, a sort of beauty that brings about freedom. You cannot overcome the feeling of misery if you are constantly running away from it, take time to pause for a while, let it sink in, let it consume you, for you will come out the other side a freer version of yourself. In this modern day and age, there are many silent retreats that people go to, to think and to be alone. But why the need to go oh so far away, to be able to be alone? Spending time with yourself, focusing on your personal growth; even if by daily reminders that you’re goddamn amazing can go a long way.
The Beauty in Solitude
When you go about your daily routine, gym-office-meet up with friends, you forget what it’s like to be alone. Thus, on the days where you do find yourself all on your own, you link that to sadness, when instead you can spend that alone time by prioritising yourself rather than being consumed by your daily routine. As humans, we think it is necessary to make others happy, to satisfy the wants of others and prioritise their needs, it’s like you almost forget that you too are of importance. And of high importance if I may add.
Alone time. It gives you time to understand yourself and know who you are and what you want from others. It’s not fair on the people you choose to bring into your life for the sole purpose of filling that void, they won’t get to know the real you because even you don’t know who the real you is without life’s little distractions. There is beauty in discovering who you are and exploring your thoughts, so cut yourself some slack and let go.
We’re all lonely in our own way. More often than not, we don’t share our deepest and darkest thoughts, not even with the people we’re closest to because we don’t want to be burdensome, it may however surprise you how much talking, sharing and connecting with someone who understands you can make you feel like your deepest and darkest thoughts aren’t actually all that bad. You’re just you. If there’s no connection, then thank you next, the universe has a lot of surprises for us up its sleeve, so love yourself first before seeking validation and love from others because only then will you be able to offer them the best version of yourself.
- REEM INK
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